Married With No Valentine

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Twenty-eight years ago on Feb. 14th hanging out in my college dormitory, I waited patiently for my Valentines gift. I sat in my dormitory lounge with eagerness anticipating my gift to arrive at any moment. There I was smiling and nodding with approval watching girls one after another receive their flowers, candy, cards and other trinkets from their boyfriends.

But as it grew later and later in the day, there was still nothing for me. My excitement gradually turned into confusion, nervousness, embarrassment, and frustration as it was becoming my reality that the most kind, gentle and loving boyfriend that any girl could ask for did not plan for me to receive anything on VALENTINES DAY!

You see this was to be our very first time celebrating Valentines Day as a couple and I was sure he was going to come through with a BANG! In fact, I was confident that his display of affection was going to make all the other girls on campus a wee bit envious that he was my Valentine!

In my dorm room as I settled into bed for the evening the phone rang. I jumped up out of my bed and ran to the phone, expecting it to be the front desk employee calling to tell me that because of all the orders that day, the courier was behind on his deliveries and he had just delivered my flowers!

BUT IT WASN’T…

In fact, it was my boyfriend on the other end of that phone. My guy was a college athlete and was away traveling for a game. HOWEVER, he was also very smart and I knew he knew how much I was looking forward to Valentine’s Day and that I had no question in my mind that he would have planned everything out perfectly before he departed.

I said hello, and he asked me how my day was and proceeded to tell me that he missed me. As I was gritting my teeth behind my tightly closed lips I replied with not much more than a “un, huh and yeah ok.” Sensing something was wrong he asked me was there something the matter? WAS THERE SOMETHING THE MATTERdid he really forget what that day was?

The flood gate was now opened, he asked, and boy was I going to tell him! I went on for about ten minutes without taking time to breathe to tell him what a selfish, inconsiderate, unloving boyfriend he was and that I was foolish for thinking he was the one! Well, I felt satisfied that he knew how I felt and because I was confident in his love for me expected him to respond with the most empathetic apology any human on earth had ever given.

BUT HE DIDN’T…

My boyfriend with a soft, patient and I’m sure looking back somewhat hurt voice said: “ok honey I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow! Oh, I was so angry I slammed the phone receiver down without a reply furious that he didn’t even respond to my rant the way I expected!

Tomorrow came and so did my flowers! The most beautiful flowers, two dozen yellow roses accompanied with Happy Valentine’s balloons that read I Love You on the front. You see my boyfriend had planned for me to get flowers delivered on Valentine’s Day but they had been delivered to the wrong location the day prior.

Oh what a tangled mess I had woven myself into, yes I felt awful, didn’t I just kinda but not really just break up with my boyfriend the night before? I knew I had to apologize to him and was concerned that he’d not forgive me.

…well you can imagine how that story ended as I have been married to that same loving guy for the past 26 years.

Obviously, I was forgiven back then but he was hurt that day. Hurt that I had placed so much value and based the sincerity of his love for me upon receiving material things. You see he helped me to understand that the love he shows me every day far surpasses the chocolates or flowers he can buy me on one day.

After that episode, we agreed back then to move forward in our relationship never placing so much emphasis on Valentine’s Day.

Therefore, I have not again ever received a gift from my husband on Valentine’s Day.

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Do I receive flowers and presents throughout the year from this man, of course, I do! But the most valuable and irreplaceable gift he gives is the undying affection, love, and appreciation that he shows me each and every day.

 

12 thoughts on “Married With No Valentine

  1. This is so sweet! I can totally understand you being hurt, so many young women, and even some older women do feel Valentines Day is very important… as much as Christmas Day! It was good to hear it was just an error… OMG, but how embarrassing for you! At least he was understanding!

    We don’t celebrate it in quite such a big way in the UK compared to the US, but it is still of great importance to a lot of young women. When I was in my teens and twenties, it wasn’t much of a celebration at all in the UK, but I think I would still have been hurt if the day had gone by without at least a card from my boyfriend. I didn’t get into a serious relationship until my mid twenties, he was thirteen years older than me, and yes… he did buy me cards, but never flowers or chocolates. He just wasn’t into the day as much as my thinking was! I had to get used to it because it was normal for him not to celebrate it. My parents never celebrated it either… older generations quite often didn’t make much of the day. We can be quite unmoved by special days in Britain… we’re a boring bunch! 😀

    I loved the way you told the story… you have a great writing style!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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