Love Cliches…Truth or Lies

If Love Is Blind (3)We’ve all heard them and have possibly said them to a friend or to ourselves when we’re trying to make sense out of a love situation.  LOVE CLICHES…have you ever heard one and thought nothing could be truer?

But is there really truth in these gems or misleading lies or myths?    I remember in elementary school learning about Greek mythology and somehow during that process, I failed to learn the meaning of MYTH-ology.  Because I went around for a very long time believing Zeus, the king of the Greek gods was real.

Are love cliches myths, and like me believing in Zeus a widely held but false belief or idea?  I thought it would be interesting to examine some of the most popular ones closely to discover if we have been misled.


ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER
This would be true if both want the same things in the relationship.  Otherwise, being apart might give one or both parties the time and space to realize that they are not ready for a committed relationship or couldn’t be any more different and not right for one another.

THERE ARE PLENTY FISH IN THE SEA
Isn’t this what is typically said to or by someone who is going through a break-up or been rejected? Yes, there is plenty of fish in the sea along with plenty of pollutants and toxins that become apart of those fish. My point here is one should move forward with caution when thinking about jumping into another relationship.

LOVES COMES WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT
I understand this completely and can see the truth in it.  BUT, as a woman of faith, I would add to this cliche…UNLESS YOU ARE YOU PRAYING FOR IT, THEN YOU CAN EXPECT IT!

LOVE MEANS NEVER TO SAY YOU ARE SORRY
I think this can be the biggest letdown cliche of them all.  My understanding of this is that in a relationship you are going to always get it right and never make a mistake therefore if you love someone you shouldn’t ever have to say you’re sorry. I have been married for many years and my husband and I love each other dearly and have made many, many mistakes some small, big, huge and gigantic but nevertheless, mistakes that warranted an apology.

Imagine my husband who loves me dearly failing to put down the toilet seat after I have repeatedly asked him to do so,.   In the dark in the middle of the night, I make my way to the restroom and down I go unexpectedly plummeting into the gaping hole…someone needs to apologize and put forth a better effort.

LOVE IS BLIND
Hmm, blind to what, all the red flags that were flying around prior to making a commitment? We all know someone who has walked straight into a bad relationship with eyes wide open. Love shouldn’t be the premise to turn a blind eye to the dysfunction going on in a relationship.

IF YOU CAN’T LOVE ME AT MY WORST, YOU DON’T DESERVE ME AT MY BEST
This one had me a bit confused at first but after some thought the scenario that I came up with was; someone in the relationship went through a rough time and the other person left them dealing with the issue alone.   The person struggling overcame and now doing well the other party is all in again. Or could it be that the worst was really bad and the other person had to love them from afar?

This cliche is complicated, to say the least, more specific details of the situation would be needed to assess this cliche better.

LOVE HURTS
No, no I don’t think it should.  Maybe if I understood the history behind this cliche it would make better sense to me.

WHEN IT”S REAL YOU’ll JUST KNOW IT
The last time I checked the divorce rate in the good old USA it was upwards of  50 percent.  Therefore, to say that we should go into a relationship based on pure human intuition is risky, to say the least.

These are just a few relationship cliches that I’ve heard throughout the years. It can be easy to live by them and not really consider the underlying meanings.

QUESTION OF THE DAY?

What are some of your favorite cliches and have you found them to be helpful?

 

 

 

 

Come and see…My Blogs New Look!

If you are here visiting my page for the first time then this blog post more than likely is irrelevant to you, BUT…WELCOME!  I am so pleased when newcomers come to my website.  I would love for you to stick around, read some of my blog posts, and click the like and follow button in order to continue along on my journey.

MOMENT OF TRUTH…

I get really excited when someone has decided to click the like button on one of my blog posts and take that next step and follow me.  Trust me when it happens I’m smiling and or possibly screaming “WOO HOO!” with hands in the air.  It’s just the affirmation I need that this is all not in vain.


Now for those of you who have been here before, THANK YOU for coming back!  You will notice that my website looks a bit different and I really hope you like the new look.

ANOTHER MOMENT OF TRUTH…

I  really didn’t like the look of my old website and couldn’t wait to change it.   To me, the home page appeared a bit busy and every time I viewed it, I just wasn’t satisfied.

The procrastination of me not changing it sooner is due to there being so many different themes to pick from…uh.

Every time I tried to pick something new I would just get overwhelmed and put it off another day.  However, I kept thinking to myself if I don’t like the way my website looks then why should I expect others to.  So this time around I was determined to choose one and so I decided on this format.

I do hope you all like the change because not only does it need to be pleasing to me I believe it’s important for my readers to like it as well.

As always I would appreciate your feedback, please let me know what you think in the comment section below.

Sincerely,
Memories For Tomorrow

 

 

Married With No Valentine

 

Twenty-eight years ago on Feb. 14th hanging out in my college dormitory, I waited patiently for my Valentines gift. I sat in my dormitory lounge with eagerness anticipating my gift to arrive at any moment. There I was smiling and nodding with approval watching girls one after another receive their flowers, candy, cards and other trinkets from their boyfriends.

But as it grew later and later in the day, there was still nothing for me. My excitement gradually turned into confusion, nervousness, embarrassment, and frustration as it was becoming my reality that the most kind, gentle and loving boyfriend that any girl could ask for did not plan for me to receive anything on VALENTINES DAY!

You see this was to be our very first time celebrating Valentines Day as a couple and I was sure he was going to come through with a BANG! In fact, I was confident that his display of affection was going to make all the other girls on campus a wee bit envious that he was my Valentine!

In my dorm room as I settled into bed for the evening the phone rang. I jumped up out of my bed and ran to the phone, expecting it to be the front desk employee calling to tell me that because of all the orders that day, the courier was behind on his deliveries and he had just delivered my flowers!

BUT IT WASN’T…

In fact, it was my boyfriend on the other end of that phone. My guy was a college athlete and was away traveling for a game. HOWEVER, he was also very smart and I knew he knew how much I was looking forward to Valentine’s Day and that I had no question in my mind that he would have planned everything out perfectly before he departed.

I said hello, and he asked me how my day was and proceeded to tell me that he missed me. As I was gritting my teeth behind my tightly closed lips I replied with not much more than a “un, huh and yeah ok.” Sensing something was wrong he asked me was there something the matter? WAS THERE SOMETHING THE MATTERdid he really forget what that day was?

The flood gate was now opened, he asked, and boy was I going to tell him! I went on for about ten minutes without taking time to breathe to tell him what a selfish, inconsiderate, unloving boyfriend he was and that I was foolish for thinking he was the one! Well, I felt satisfied that he knew how I felt and because I was confident in his love for me expected him to respond with the most empathetic apology any human on earth had ever given.

BUT HE DIDN’T…

My boyfriend with a soft, patient and I’m sure looking back somewhat hurt voice said: “ok honey I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow! Oh, I was so angry I slammed the phone receiver down without a reply furious that he didn’t even respond to my rant the way I expected!

Tomorrow came and so did my flowers! The most beautiful flowers, two dozen yellow roses accompanied with Happy Valentine’s balloons that read I Love You on the front. You see my boyfriend had planned for me to get flowers delivered on Valentine’s Day but they had been delivered to the wrong location the day prior.

Oh what a tangled mess I had woven myself into, yes I felt awful, didn’t I just kinda but not really just break up with my boyfriend the night before? I knew I had to apologize to him and was concerned that he’d not forgive me.

…well you can imagine how that story ended as I have been married to that same loving guy for the past 26 years.

Obviously, I was forgiven back then but he was hurt that day. Hurt that I had placed so much value and based the sincerity of his love for me upon receiving material things. You see he helped me to understand that the love he shows me every day far surpasses the chocolates or flowers he can buy me on one day.

After that episode, we agreed back then to move forward in our relationship never placing so much emphasis on Valentine’s Day.

Therefore, I have not again ever received a gift from my husband on Valentine’s Day.

Do I receive flowers and presents throughout the year from this man, of course, I do! But the most valuable and irreplaceable gift he gives is the undying affection, love, and appreciation that he shows me each and every day.

 

Raindrops On Foggy Glasses

As  I was sitting in a two-hour seminar one evening, it was there when after listening to the speaker for an hour my thoughts drifted and I started to think about raindrops on foggy glasses.

You see, I recalled a time when my daughter came back into our house from walking her dog one cold stormy morning.  She came into my bedroom still dressed in her outerwear, sat on the side of my bed while I was in the bathroom and proceeded to talk to me as I continued to look straight into my bathroom mirror washing my face.

Her tone was somewhat monotone and after a few minutes passed,  I turned to give her my full attention, and as my eyes locked eyes with hers, I immediately erupted into uncontrollable laughter. You see my daughter’s glasses had fogged up when she came back into the house and all I could see were two teeny tiny pupils surrounded by white foggy residue on her spectacles peering back at me.  The condensation from her raindrops on foggy glasses distorted her appearance causing her to look pretty ridiculous in my opinion.

You can imagine the confused and dazed look my daughter gave me as I tried to explain and apologize for rudely interrupting her, all the while still laughing.   I quickly grabbed my makeup palette with a mirror attached and turned it towards her so that she could see for herself what I found so amusing.  My daughter briefly chuckled, shrugged and said: “Oh yeah, funny”.

I got to thinking though, isn’t that like life sometimes?  Have you ever tried to look through a pair of foggy glasses or fog on a car windshield?  It’s hard to see things ahead, isn’t it?  Sometimes rain comes and fog appears out of nowhere and it gets frustrating as you attempt to try and wipe away the condensation to make heads or tails as to what is in front of you.

Trials and difficulties can be that way; they can come and obstruct your view making it sometimes difficult to see how to move forward.  But unlike my daughter, I saw the change and it stirred up and uncontrollable reaction, my demeanor changed and I lost focus of what was at hand.  However, my daughter was not oblivious to the change in her current condition but also was not moved by the temporary interference, realizing that it soon would pass.

We all will have experienced our share of trials, difficulties, and disappointments at some point, possibly struggling, stumbling and attempting to wipe away the obstructions in our paths.

Nevertheless, like my daughter wearing her raindrops on foggy glasses, we can be at peace knowing that eventually, the rain will pass and the fog will fade, allowing a clearer view as it was before.

 

Blogging Anxiety…The 3 Triggers You Want To Avoid

adult alone black and white dark

Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

If you’re new here on my blog you may not know that my purpose on my platform is to encourage and motivate others in every aspect of their life.  All while staying positive and creating their best memories for tomorrow.

Therefore being a motivational blogger, anxiety is a topic that maybe I should not know a lot about, right?  Because one might conclude that in motivating others to live their best life, I should have it all figured out, and maybe not have a lot to share on this topic.

Well, for me in the beginning, something that I found so much joy in at first, quickly turned into me stressing about the do’s and don’ts of what I was doing. I became obsessed with several technical aspects of blogging.   Is my format right, was my title intriguing, is the heading perfect, was my content interesting, etc? Fortunately, it wasn’t very long before I recognized that what I was doing to myself wasn’t necessarily productive and that I was losing sight of my initial and primary purpose in writing.

I was on a fast track of taking the joy out of my blogging experience and turning it into a race for time to make my blog an overnight success.  Which in turn created a lot of anxiety for me.

In all fairness, I believe no matter how positive your outlook is on life,  it is human nature that at one point you may feel eager or slightly worried that despite all your efforts, your blog is not growing and possibly no one cares. But becomes an issue when you stay lingering in that stressful mental space for too long.

When I started writing I wanted to write-sharing what was on my mind, promoting positivity, motivating others and building a community with others and vice versa.  No anxiety, no second-guessing my purpose, just simply joy, and freedom of expression.

Well shortly after came along:

  • The first trigger –  Looking at the number of followers that other bloggers have.  

Do yourself a favor and don’t do this, because once I started paying attention to how many followers other bloggers had; and that it was in the hundreds, even thousands I immediately started to feel ANXIETY.   In the beginning, there I sat, a blogger for six full days and only nine FOLLOWERS! And two of those were family members.

Remember I started out excited to have a platform to write and share and encourage, I was floating on the clouds only five days earlier.  What was it about seeing those high following counts that made me feel like I was failing?  I mean who was I failing, certainly not my nine followers they had vested interest, they were on board!


  • Second trigger: Binging on posts, articles, and videos about the “how to’s” of blogging  (a huge one for me)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with educating yourself on how to be a better blogger in every way imaginable.  I actually think it’s important to do this. However, please be prepared to experience information overload.

The internet is full of awesome and beneficial information about starting a blog and transforming it into being lucrative or whatever you imagine it to be.  But trust me, you will want to take your time as you dive into this sea of information.

If not, you may fall into the trap like me, and start to feel unqualified, defeated and a bit of ANXIETY.  Consequently slipping into the self-destructive mode of saying to yourself, I need to implement everything now, no more wasting time sleeping, everybody is doing this already what are you waiting for…I’m so behind!


  • Third trigger:  Looking at my stats A LOT! 

Honestly, it was exciting to check out this feature with its bar graphs and different cells of information.  Nevertheless, I found myself looking at it every few minutes for the first 2 weeks into blogging.  If I posted something, a few minutes later I was wide-eyed eagerly visiting my stats to see what kind of traffic I was getting.  If I wasn’t getting any, you guessed it…ANXIETY crept in. Followed up with the thought that I was already failing.


Of course it’s important to see and experience growth; however, take your time and enjoy each moment of your experience no matter how slow or fast the pace.

I have had to remind myself of this throughout my blogging journey.  Building relationships with others who eventually will become followers who look forward to reading your content will TAKE TIME. 

Anxiety affects the way you think, feel and behave and it’s important to recognize the negative impacts it plays on your blogging experience early on so that you can avoid feeling defeated, discouraged or the urge to quit.

Yes, making the necessary changes to experience growth is important, but not in exchange for unsettling anxiety.  I recognized early on that the three triggers listed above led to my anxiety in blogging and therefore was able to change my tactics and successfully was able to release the anxiety and start blogging with freedom and joy all over again.

Brain Food…Not Really

This picture of a bowl of oatmeal is what my ten year old daughter requested for breakfast this morning, astonishing isn’t it? I asked my daughter what she would like on her oatmeal, and she eagerly preceded to tell me almond milk, flaxseed, cashews, bananas, blueberries, and chia seeds. After I compiled it all together I stepped back, looked down at it and thought, wow looks delicious! Understand that my daughter knows from attending health seminars and cooking classes with me in the past that this is a power packed breakfast. And in eating this way, it can assist her in achieving or maintaining optimal mental and physical health. It’s what we call “brain food”. Food rich in nutrients and essential vitamins and minerals. For her, consuming this meal meant that she was going to start her day off with the energy and zeal to be her best little self. Now this is a normal daily type of breakfast for her, and I know some may feel that I am depriving my little girl by not letting her experience the sugary cereals with the colorful animated cartoons on the box for breakfast. But I assure you it’s evident in her gobbling up her bowl of healthy goodness in little under 15 minutes that she’s not feeling deprived at all!

Yes, I’m delighted that my young one takes pride in eating healthy, but I got to thinking about this idea of “brain food”. Is food for the brain only to be considered things that we eat? I think not, I’d like to also consider what we “feed” our brain in what we watch, listen to or read. I mean this is elementary and you probably know that by “beholding we become changed” right? This is a concept from the Bible and no I’m not going to preach to you, but I’ m really convinced that this scripture gem is true, and here’s why.

Recently, on my Memories For Tomorrow Instagram page someone made a comment on one of my post about my writing style. After reading their comment I was a bit perplexed because I wasn’t sure if they where giving me a compliment or insulting me. Nevertheless, after reading the comment over and over again, each time chewing on it, swishing the words around in my head, and at last spitting it out thinking yep it was a bit “salty”!

For a moment I allowed this person, who before posting their comment, I never knew existed or had a footprint on this planet, have me question my ability to articulate my own opinion and life experiences on my very own platform! I set stunned, time wasted and forever gone, feeling foolish for thinking I could write. I mean seriously who was I trying to fool? Obviously not this person, I needed to quit while I was ahead, this blogging thing was not for me, I had already failed the gig was up!

In the words of my daughter “GEE WIZ”, how did I go down this rabbit hole of thinking faster than she devoured her healthy breakfast. I mean seriously my blog page is called “Memories For Tomorrow, Do Today What You Want Tomorrow To Remember”! I mean I came up with that catchy slogan it sounds positive enough right? So how did a content creator/blogger like myself with this page title allow someone to question my whole mission and purpose in a matter of seconds? It’s called brain food, I chewed on that persons words entirely too long. It was quickly deteriorating the way I was thinking.

Now realistically as a blogger I anticipate and really welcome honest feedback. And to be fair this persons comment wasn’t horrible I mean it ended with a smiley emoji for goodness sake. Isn’t that the universal sign that we’re good everything is fine? So after 20 minutes I realized I was being ridiculous and that there opinion was just that. I couldn’t allow myself to stay in that place any longer, feeding on those words, allowing the underlying negativity to alter the fantastic course that is set before me.

So yes, I believe “brain food” is more than what we eat for nourishment. Have you had a similar experience, and what would you consider brain food for the soul? Please share your comments below. 🙂

Riding A Rollercoaster And Motherhood

Riding a roller coaster & Motherhood

Memories For Tomorrow

The Webster Dictionary’s definition for Motherhood is the state of being a mother. I looked it up because I was curious as to what Mr. Webster’s opinion of being a mother exactly is.  And with such a short definition I believe that Mr. Webster either has no idea what being a mother entails or clearly understands that no definition would suffice the scope of Motherhood.

Motherhood is not something that women can fully prepare for by reading a book, watching videos, or listening to other stories.    No, motherhood is like a never-ending rollercoaster.   With me I started the adventure with a slow climb, thinking to myself “what did I get myself into,  this is going to be bad; there is a HUGE drop in front of me”. Nevertheless, in preparation for what I felt was ahead, I started telling myself it’s going to be ok, closed my eyes, prayed and grabbed onto any support as I braced for the inevitable.

If Webster would ask me I would say…

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